7 Questions to Ask Your Potential Surrogate

Aug 02, 2023
 7 Questions to Ask Your Potential Surrogate
You start out as strangers but will have a lifelong bond with your surrogate. Find out what questions you should ask your potential surrogate beforehand to help you develop the level of comfort that leads to that long-term relationship.

You start out as strangers but will have a lifelong bond with your surrogate. When meeting for the first time, you want to make sure it’s a good fit.

At Great Beginnings Surrogacy Services (GBSS) in San Diego, California, Dr. Samuel Wood and our team specialize in matching intended parents (IPs) with the perfect surrogate. 

In this month’s blog, we want to share some questions to ask your potential surrogate so you can get to know each other better before you start your surrogacy journey.

1. Where are you from?

Where are you from is a fairly standard “get to know you” type of question. But this question has specific importance for you as the IP. 

First, you want your surrogate to live in a surrogate-friendly state like California so you don’t run into any unexpected legal bumps during the surrogacy process. Second, you want to know where your surrogate lives so you know how much traveling you need to do to get to OB/GYN appointments.

2. What drew you to surrogacy?

There are many misconceptions about why women choose to become surrogates. We think this is an important question because it dispels some of these misunderstandings, which may help you feel more at ease. 

You might be surprised to learn that most surrogates choose surrogacy because they truly want to give their IPs the gift of a child.  

3. What is your family like?

Pregnancy is a time of joy and happiness, but it’s not all fun and games. Pregnancy is hard on the body and can affect your surrogate's physical and emotional well-being. 

Your surrogate needs support outside of you to help her through the pregnancy. Learning about her family gives you an idea of the kind of support she has at home. It also gives you a chance to get to know her more personally. 

4. How did you feel during pregnancy?

A good surrogate has a history of at least one full-term healthy birth. Asking your surrogate about how she felt during her previous pregnancies gives you an idea of how things may go for her during this pregnancy.

5. What do you expect from IPs?

The IP and surrogate relationship is important. You want to know what she expects from you as the IP. Does she want to stay in constant contact or have scheduled calls? Is she expecting you to attend every OB visit or only certain appointments?

Your surrogate has a life and family outside of being your surrogate, and you need to know her boundaries to ensure they align with yours. 

6. What are your hobbies?

You want your surrogate to feel comfortable talking to you; asking her questions about her interests helps develop rapport. When meeting with a potential surrogate, ask about her hobbies or what she likes to do for fun. Or, find out if she likes any of the same things you like, such as her favorite book, movie, or style of music.

Building rapport with your surrogate helps her feel more comfortable and may improve the overall relationship. 

7. What makes you a great surrogate?

Asking your surrogate this question helps you better understand the type of person she is and her motivations for choosing surrogacy. This can help you decide if it’s a good match or not. 

Your surrogate may also come in with several questions for you, so be prepared to share.

If you’re considering surrogacy to help you build your family, our team can provide the information, education, and support you need. Call our office or book an appointment online today to get started.