Common Mistakes Intended Parents Make

Surrogacy is a life-changing option for people who want to have children but can’t conceive on their own. But as the intended parent, you should know a few things before picking your surrogate and signing the paperwork.

As one of the top surrogacy agencies in the United States, Dr. Wood and our team at Great Beginnings Surrogacy Services (GBSS) in San Diego, California, have helped many people grow their families. We guide our intended parents through each step of the surrogacy process, so they get the help they need. 

Here, we want to share with you some of the common mistakes intended parents make so you can prepare yourself ahead of time and avoid these mistakes.

Rushing into the surrogacy process

After several rounds of infertility treatments, you’re more than anxious and ready to grow your family. However, when you decide it’s time to consider surrogacy, you need to do a little research first. Understanding surrogacy’s medical, financial, and legal aspects is important.

Before making any decisions, schedule an appointment with a surrogacy agency like ours. We can explain how surrogacy works and the step-by-step process. Understanding the surrogacy process can help you properly prepare yourself for the medical, financial, and legal aspects of the agreement, which may help prevent some of the emotional ups and downs.

Choosing a surrogate too early

One of the things we do best is matching our intended parents with the perfect surrogate. However, it’s not unusual for intended parents to preselect a friend or family member to serve as their surrogate. 

While this is okay, it can complicate the process. Surrogacy is an emotional experience that requires open communication and cooperation between the intended parents and the surrogate. When you select a loved one to be your surrogate, this “business-like” arrangement can strain your relationship.

Surrogates must also meet specific criteria to qualify. A good surrogate should:

• Be in good overall health
• Be between the ages of 21 and 45 (better if they’re younger than 35)
• Have a history of pregnancies without complications
• Have a stable and supportive home environment

It’s important to know who makes a good surrogate before asking your best friend who may not meet some qualifications. 

Not understanding the types of surrogates

There are two main types of surrogates: traditional and gestational. It’s very important to fully understand the difference because it can affect legal ties to the baby.

Traditional surrogate

A traditional surrogate is a woman who uses her own eggs for the pregnancy and sperm from the intended parent or donor sperm. A traditional surrogate is the baby’s biological mother, which can complicate the legal surrogacy contract. 

Gestational surrogate

A gestational surrogate has no genetic ties to the baby. For this type of surrogacy, we take eggs and sperm from the intended parents, or donor eggs and sperm, and fertilize the egg in the lab. We then place the embryo in the uterus of the gestational surrogate. 

We only use gestational surrogates because it causes fewer legal issues.

Keeping the surrogacy journey too private

Though you may prefer to keep your surrogacy journey to yourself, it’s an emotional experience that can leave you stressed and drained. It’s good to have someone to talk to, whether a friend or family member, throughout the process.

You can also join intended parent support groups to share your experiences and learn from others. 

Having an experienced team taking you through each step may make those mistakes less painful. If you’re considering surrogacy to grow your family, let us be the ones that provide the guidance you need. Call our office or book an appointment online today.